in over my head

Have you ever been in over your head?   Think about it.  Has there ever been a time when you just walked into something that instantly, you knew was beyond your ability or understanding?  This has happened to me several times throughout my life.  But none more than when Emily and I decided to take NEWBORN CARE CLASSES…

I felt so out of place and in over my head that my stomach started turning.   We decided that this would be a good choice for us because neither of us have any “baby experience.”  So we checked out what the local hospital offered. Four classes were offered.

Class One- Labor and Delivery Orientation.  Hmm…I don’t think we need that one. 

Okay…Class Two – Breast Feeding.  Granted, I know that adoptive mothers can take certain hormones to feed an adopted baby her own milk, but Emily made it clear that was out of the question.   I’m smart enough not to touch that one anymore.  So, that class was out-we were on a role.

 Class Three – Safety and CPR for Newborns.  Finally, a class that we could find useful!  When we walked in, I knew in the pit of my stomach that I was in over my head.  There were seven or eight other couples there for the class. We were definitely different from every other couple. Most noticeably, each woman had a large bump.  Secondly, every lady seemed to be on edge.  I have no experience living with a pregnant woman, but I have heard that there are a lot of extra hormones mixing around in their bodies.  Consequently, I also noticed that every guy also seemed to be on edge.  We learned some great things and I even was able to practice CPR on a practice baby dummy.  Without being disrespectful, I just want to say that there are a lot of funny things that happen in those classes.  There are some clear advantages to adopting, because each time one of the guys thought something was funny, his wife would shoot a “you’re dead” glare at him.  Fortunately for me, I was safe, because if I thought something was funny, Em usually did too ( and she isn’t pregnant).  So we survived Class Three even though we were the only couple in the class that was not pregnant.

On to the Class Four – Newborn Care.  This one covered any danger we might ever face with our new baby.  We learned how to change a diaper and learned what kinds of cribs are not allowed to be used any more.  As I remember, mine was quite comfortable and I don’t ever remember any other babies my age complaining about the model crib their parents used.   We also watched a video of kids teaching us how to correctly install a car seat.  I also found this funny because they continually stressed how difficult it is to do and that we should have the fire department check to make sure it is inserted correctly, but the video had kids demonstrating how to install it.  So simple a child could show me.  We passed this class and are now “ready” for a newborn, just about as much as any other first time parent.

I am in way over my head, I know it, Emily knows it, and I am sure that every other parent reading this is also thinking that we have no idea what is about to happen to us.  It’s true, I am not afraid to admit it.  I am not afraid to ask for help or to do what is necessary to prepare myself if that is even possible.  At times it is good to be over our heads because it causes more dependence on God.  I believe God uses circumstances in our lives like these to stretch us and grow us.  I have heard that God has even used a child or two to teach parents great lessons about Himself.  So I am once again in over my head…and I say…Bring it on!

our registry adventure

(Emily writing)

I didn’t think it would be THAT difficult. I just wanted to register for a few baby “essentials.”  I was feeling so prepared, especially since I read (and highlighted!) Baby Bargains, the “must-have” guide for new parents on what to register for and what is a waste of money.  The book was very helpful…in fact, it was so great that I took it with us to the store, along with a list of all of the “safe” brands, and the “runner- up” brands...and the “runner- up to the runner- up”-just in case the store didn’t offer the first one. 

HOWEVER, have you ever stepped into a Babies R Us?  Something happens when you step into that store.  I felt all logic, limitations, and list of essentials be quickly replaced with “If you don’t buy this you are going to be a terrible parent and your child most likely won’t survive to see their second birthday.”   If you add these sudden insecurities to my husband’s suspicion of, “You don’t need that...this is all a conspiracy for the baby industry to make more money,” I guarantee your evening will be eventful, but not very pleasant.

Looking back, I think that the baby registration process was frustrating, yet ultimately, very rewarding.  It really illustrated the differences between Dan and me (and that is not a bad thing).  I was coming into the process as one who wants to nurture our child, making sure I have everything to provide a safe, comfortable existence for our little one.  Dan was thinking as a provider, “How in the world are we going to pay for all of this?”  If I was left to my own, I would have registered for a lot of pretty, fun- for-about -2-weeks items.  Dan wanted to focus on the absolute essentials, the infant car seat, stroller, and diapers.  Although the experience was not fun, we were able to learn more about each other and our insecurities and fears about becoming parents.  Ultimately, our relationship grew closer as we saw each other’s point of view….which was a good thing, because I had also planned to register at Target the next day!

Our outlook going into Target was entirely different; in fact, Dan was more eager to register for more items and I was more hesitant.  We both wanted to be respectful of the other person’s desires and our time was productive and enjoyable.  So, for all of those who have never registered for their baby before, BE PREPARED!

Oh, and it always helps to give your man the registry gun…you can always delete things later online! :)