from "someday..." to "anyday!"

(Emily writing)

Since we have started this blog right in the middle of our adoption journey, I want to take you back a couple of years to the beginning...when God started preparing our hearts for this adventure. 

Dan and I began dating our freshman year of college at Cedarville University in Ohio. Early on, we knew that we wanted to get married, so our conversations frequently led to us to dream about our future.  We talked about one day hoping to have children through adoption, so it was always in the back of our minds going into marriage.

The more we talked about it, the more I became excited, although I was nervous to go from "just us two" to having children.  It took me a little while (okay, almost five years of being married) to release my control, my fears, and ultimately, my selfishness about having children. I am blessed to have a husband who is patient with me!  

A few months before moving to Little Rock, my heart slowly began to change towards having children. I can’t explain it, but I knew God was making my heart more sensitive and planting a desire deep within that I had never felt before.  Although I was still nervous, Dan and I committed to starting the adoption process at the beginning of the year (2012). Leading up to that time, we watched "If You Were Mine", a DVD resource that walked us through the different types of adoption and agencies. It was helpful for us to decide together exactly what we wanted.

In January, we went to two informational meetings- one with foster care (The CALL) and another with Bethany Christian Services. The weeks surrounding these two meetings were one of the most heart-gripping experiences.  It is so devastating, seeing children suffer because of the choices of their parents.  We fervently prayed for God to make the decision clear. We also sought the counsel of others who walked this journey.  We really had to wrestle through what was the wisest choice for us now.  I was never one to babysit or be around young kids, so I wanted to start at the beginning and have a basis of understanding.  So, we decided to go through Bethany, where we could adopt an infant whose birth mother didn’t feel like she could take care of them.  We also chose Bethany because of their heart for the birth mother.  They are one of the best agencies in meeting the physical, spiritual, and emotional needs of the birth parents.  In fact, a reason why adoption can be considered “expensive” is because those funds are used to help love and take care of the birth mother with their medical and physical needs. These girls are often coming to Bethany as a last resort before choosing abortion.  Bethany counsels the girls before and after the adoption, as well as provide life-long services to the adopted child and adoptive parents (that’s us!). These girls are often neglected and looked down upon in our society, and we want to be a part of an agency that will share the love of Christ and give them the resources they need.  Although we have peace that God is leading us to go through this agency now, we are open to what He has for us in the future, possibly through foster care. 

It has been amazing to see what God has done in my heart the last couple of weeks.  I have gone from simply talking about adopting to yearning for the phone to ring.  Thank you for walking alongside of us during the waiting period. You are such an encouragement to me!